Things I’m Glad To Leave In My Twenties
Am I the only one who's actually excited to turn 30?
My twenties have been filled with some of the biggest changes of my life, along with plenty of lessons I never saw coming. Somewhere along the way, I got a little closer to figuring out who I am and, maybe more importantly, who I don't want to be anymore.
So before I officially enter a new decade, here are five things I'm happily leaving behind.
1. Pretending I know when I don't
When I first started my career, I thought admitting I didn't know something would make me look inexperienced or just plain dumb. Instead of asking questions, I'd nod along and hope I'd figure it out later. Turns out, asking questions is one of the fastest ways to learn. As I've grown professionally, I've realized that people don't expect you to know everything. They do appreciate curiosity, honesty, and a willingness to learn. I've also found that asking for help creates better conversations because it lets everyone put their ego aside. The funny thing is, this doesn't just apply at work. My friends are incredibly smart, and sometimes they're talking about something I know absolutely nothing about. Instead of pretending, I just ask. That's what friends are for.
2. Coloring my hair
I've heard people say you can tell what phase of life a woman is in by her hair color. I'm not sure that's true for everyone, but it definitely has been for me. I've loved the excitement of trying something new or just changing things up. But after years of experimenting (and spending a small fortune), I've realized I feel the most like myself with my natural dark hair. I used to think it looked flat or boring. Now I love how simple and sleek it feels. And honestly, not having to spend $300 every few months because my roots grew out or my balayage turned orange isn't exactly a downside.
3. Sleeping with my makeup on
I hate to admit it, but I used to be the girl who came home after a night out and immediately fell asleep with a full face of makeup on. Yes, it's bad for your skin. But it's also just... kind of gross. One of the most helpful things a therapist ever told me was that having a simple nighttime routine can have a huge impact on your mental health. It doesn't have to be an elaborate self-care ritual with candles and a 12-step skincare routine. For me, the non-negotiables are taking my makeup off, brushing my teeth, and putting on clean pajamas. And on the nights when I truly don't have it in me? I keep a pack of makeup remover wipes in my nightstand. They're not my first choice, but they're a whole lot better than sleeping in yesterday's mascara.
4. Spending money before investing my time
Babe... just take the free trial first. For some reason, I used to think paying for something automatically meant I'd commit to it. I'd convince myself that buying the expensive Pilates membership would somehow teleport me to class every week. Spoiler alert: it didn't. I've learned that motivation fades much faster than a monthly subscription renews. Now, I try to prove to myself that I'll actually stick with something before I spend money on it. I'll do the free YouTube workouts first. I'll borrow the book from the library. I'll use the free trial before paying for the annual membership. If I'm still showing up after a few weeks, then maybe it’s worth the investment.
5. Forcing a happy ending
This one has probably been the hardest lesson. Whether it was a friendship, relationship, job, or just an uncomfortable conversation, my instinct was always to fix it. I wanted everyone to walk away happy, even if it meant overexplaining myself or trying to control the outcome. Over time, I've realized that a lot of that came from wanting to make myself more comfortable with someone else's discomfort. Sometimes things don't end the way you hoped they would, but that doesn't mean you failed. Of course, there are situations worth fighting for. But I've learned there's a difference between putting in genuine effort and forcing an ending that was never meant to happen. Not every chapter gets a perfect conclusion. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is let it end, trust that you'll be okay, and leave space for something better to come.
I'm not walking into my thirties with everything figured out. If anything, I've realized how much I still have to learn. But if my twenties taught me anything, it's that growing up isn't about becoming someone entirely new. It's about slowly letting go of the things that no longer fit, until what's left feels a lot more like yourself.
