The Art of Dining Alone: Why You Should Take Yourself on a Solo Date
When I worked a part-time job at the mall as a teenager, I used to count down ’til I got my legally mandated 15 minutes to literally just sit by myself. Somewhere between those quiet 15-minute breaks and adulthood, I realized I genuinely enjoy my own company. As much as I love date nights with my husband or a girls’ night out, I also love taking myself out for a solo date now and again.
But I realize that for some, going to a restaurant and asking for a table for one can stir up some anxiety or just feel plain weird. So stop waiting for Chad or Brad to take you out, and hear me out on why your next dinner date should be with your pretty self.
“Hi, could I please sit at the bar?”
Imagine walking into Din Tai Fung at 6:30pm and overhearing a group of Patagonia vests grumble about the 90-minute wait. But then you simply walk past them and promptly get served your soup dumplings and lychee martini. Well, that was me during my last solo date. Bar seating is your best friend. The benefit of being a party of one is that there’s usually little to no wait time. Skipping the line by being a small party is the perfect opportunity to try out that new restaurant you’ve been seeing all over TikTok but don’t have the patience to wait for. Suddenly, all those “impossible to get into” restaurants become a lot more realistic. I love how dining solo has opened the doors for me to try so many places I may have a harder time getting a seat at otherwise.
“What’s your favorite thing on the menu?”
I’m not sure if it’s because servers have more time to chat with a solo diner or because sitting at the bar naturally feels more conversational, but I feel like I tend to get significantly better service at restaurants when I’m by myself. It seems like servers are just a little bit more attentive, a little more willing to have a genuine interaction, and just more down to make small talk. If you get lucky, they’re sometimes more willing to give you off-menu recommendations or throw in a freebie. And if you ever get order anxiety on a date or in a group, dining solo gives you the perfect opportunity to get exactly what you want to eat. Get both appetizers if you can’t decide, and be glad you did the next day when you have leftovers for lunch.
Finally, Some Peace & Quiet
If you’re intimidated by sitting quietly by yourself, don’t forget that this is your time and you can spend it however you like. Sometimes it’s fun to do a bit of people watching. Other times, I catch up on my reading on my Kindle or plan my dream trip in a journal. No matter how I choose to spend my time, I try to keep my phone away. It would be rude to scroll through Instagram in the middle of a date, so I try to give myself the same courtesy.
This is an opportunity to be present, enjoy your food, and spend some quality time with yourself.
Somewhere along the way, I realized the biggest benefit wasn’t skipping the wait or getting better service. It was what dining alone taught me. Without the conversations, I notice the music, the food, the atmosphere, and my own thoughts so much more clearly. I don’t need constant entertainment or every moment of silence to be filled. I also don’t need someone else to justify me going somewhere I want to go. I learned that being alone doesn’t always mean feeling lonely. Most of the time, I actually end up feeling even more secure in who I am.
The first few minutes of dining alone may feel awkward. But then your food arrives, and suddenly you realize that literally no one cares. You’re just another person enjoying a meal. So the next time you’re craving that restaurant but no one else is free, don’t wait. Ask for a table for one.
